Hello Beautiful Soul-
I’m so happy you made it to my website.
My name is Holly Toronto and I am a Certified Master Level Health Coach. The simple way to describe what I do with my clients is that:
I help women bridge the gap between Spirit and their Bodies.
What does this even mean? I’m so glad you asked….
First I have to go back and share a little bit about my history.
I learned some of the most formative messages about bodies, mine and others, growing up in the church. I was consistently hearing that “the flesh is sinful” and “not to trust my body’s desires.”
My body felt like something separate from me. Like this thing I had to conquer in order to prove my goodness and get into heaven.
Yet it also felt like my body was constantly deceiving me.
I felt embarrassed of my appetite for food. Ashamed of my desires for sex and pleasure. Betrayed by my changing body.
In many ways, I just wanted my body to disappear. It felt like she was the very thing that was keeping me from the love of God because I was unable to tame her.
If I could just shrink her. Silence her. Transcend her…
Then maybe, just maybe, I would earn the love I so desperately desired.
In these years, my body didn’t belong to me. She was required to live up to the church’s expectations of purity, society’s expectations of thinness and hustle culture’s expectations of productivity.
Fast forward to 2015, I’d been living in New York City for 10 years, had a career in the fashion industry and had gotten married to my wonderful husband.
Though I had disconnected from the religion of my childhood, I was still feeling the harmful impacts of those messages I had learned so early on.
The purity of my body no longer depended on my “chastity” and “modesty,” but it now was deeply enmeshed with how I ate + perceived my physical body.
In an attempt to improve my health, I got involved in the “clean food” movement and became very strict with how I ate. Through this process, I was able to lose a lot of weight which awarded me all of the praise, accolades and love that I so desperately desired.
I felt like I was finally able to do the thing that would once and for all make me “good”... achieve the ideal body.
I started to receive a lot of requests from people to help them lose weight in the same way I did and this gave me a deep sense of purpose. It was because of this that I got certified as a Health Coach and started my own business.
Yet something insidious was happening under the surface that I was unwilling to admit to myself and others. Though outwardly it appeared that I was “healthy,” I was suffering emotionally and spiritually.
I was constantly monitoring the food I was putting into my body.
Body checking and comparing myself.
Weighing myself multiple times a day.
Socially isolating if I didn’t KNOW I could control the food that was at the event.
I was stressed and anxious around food.
My hair was falling out and I had developed severe digestive issues.
It felt like everything I had created for myself, everything that had earned me love and respect was hanging on by a thread. That thread being my body and if I added even just one pound, it would snap and everything I had worked so hard for would come crashing down.
It wasn’t until I came across the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch that I was able to see that my relationship to my body and food was disordered. That valuing myself (and others) based on the size of my body and what I put in my mouth was NOT a sustainable way to live and thrive in this world.
It was a long and winding road, but I eventually came to embody the undeniable truth that my body is NOT someTHING to be manipulated and controlled to earn my goodness.
No.
My body is someONE who is inherently good and worthy of love and respect regardless of what she looks like.
It was from this place that I was able to start caring for my body in a loving way, eating intuitively, moving in ways that energize me and resting.
Once my physical, mental and emotional health had restored, I found myself craving spiritual connection again.
It was like this loving acceptance I had towards my body opened up a portal inside of me for deeper connection with the Divine.
Yet I knew that I was not going to go back to the strict, rule based religion of my childhood that taught me to disconnect from the miracle that is my body.
No, I was going to invite my body to lead me deeper into my spirituality.
Because here’s what I’ve learned.
The body and the spirit are NOT two separate entities. They are interconnected, working symbiotically leading us towards our fullest expression.
And when we focus our energies on trying to manipulate, control, shrink and avoid being IN our bodies, that connection wanes and we find ourselves unable to access the wisdom of our inner guidance system.
What I’ve seen for myself and the numerous clients I’ve had the honor of working with is that all of these constructs of beauty, thinness, purity and what makes a “good woman” we are indoctrinated with are REALLY good at getting us to think that we need something outside of ourselves to be valuable, so we keep buying, striving, shrinking and silencing ourselves.
But when we’re able to peel back the layers of that conditioning. Question the constructs that we’ve taken on as true about ourselves and others.
We’re able to access the Truth of who we are. Whole. Complete. Worthy. Enough. Valuable. Just as we are.
And this, my friends, is how we begin to heal and create harmony in the world around us.
More and more people feeling a sense of wholeness in themselves, creates a deeper experience of Oneness with the world around us. And when we’re experiencing Oneness, it’s a lot less likely that we’ll be perpetuating hate and violence (to ourselves or others).
At least this is what I believe and what I’m attempting to work towards here in my little corner of the internet.
So, if any part of my story resonates with you, I’ll invite you to connect with me. Click here to learn more about my private coaching offerings.
Maybe you’re not ready to explore coaching for yourself, but you want to connect with me on the gram - click here to follow me + introduce yourself!
A little bit about me personally:
I currently live in Sunnyside, Queens which is a magical storybook oasis in New York City. I married my wonderful husband, Daniel, in 2014 and we adopted our puppy, Gatsby, in 2018. When I’m not coaching my amazing clients or creating for my business, I’m most likely on an adventure with them, hiking, beaching or exploring new parks for Gatsby to run around in.
My spiritual practice is medicine for me and I’m constantly exploring new ways to connect to the Divine through ritual, embodiment practices and solo time.
I am a self-proclaimed introvert, Enneagram 3, lover of nature, good food, wine, travel, podcasts and writing.
I’m so happy you made it to my website.
My name is Holly Toronto and I am a Certified Master Level Health Coach. The simple way to describe what I do with my clients is that:
I help women bridge the gap between Spirit and their Bodies.
What does this even mean? I’m so glad you asked….
First I have to go back and share a little bit about my history.
I learned some of the most formative messages about bodies, mine and others, growing up in the church. I was consistently hearing that “the flesh is sinful” and “not to trust my body’s desires.”
My body felt like something separate from me. Like this thing I had to conquer in order to prove my goodness and get into heaven.
Yet it also felt like my body was constantly deceiving me.
I felt embarrassed of my appetite for food. Ashamed of my desires for sex and pleasure. Betrayed by my changing body.
In many ways, I just wanted my body to disappear. It felt like she was the very thing that was keeping me from the love of God because I was unable to tame her.
If I could just shrink her. Silence her. Transcend her…
Then maybe, just maybe, I would earn the love I so desperately desired.
In these years, my body didn’t belong to me. She was required to live up to the church’s expectations of purity, society’s expectations of thinness and hustle culture’s expectations of productivity.
Fast forward to 2015, I’d been living in New York City for 10 years, had a career in the fashion industry and had gotten married to my wonderful husband.
Though I had disconnected from the religion of my childhood, I was still feeling the harmful impacts of those messages I had learned so early on.
The purity of my body no longer depended on my “chastity” and “modesty,” but it now was deeply enmeshed with how I ate + perceived my physical body.
In an attempt to improve my health, I got involved in the “clean food” movement and became very strict with how I ate. Through this process, I was able to lose a lot of weight which awarded me all of the praise, accolades and love that I so desperately desired.
I felt like I was finally able to do the thing that would once and for all make me “good”... achieve the ideal body.
I started to receive a lot of requests from people to help them lose weight in the same way I did and this gave me a deep sense of purpose. It was because of this that I got certified as a Health Coach and started my own business.
Yet something insidious was happening under the surface that I was unwilling to admit to myself and others. Though outwardly it appeared that I was “healthy,” I was suffering emotionally and spiritually.
I was constantly monitoring the food I was putting into my body.
Body checking and comparing myself.
Weighing myself multiple times a day.
Socially isolating if I didn’t KNOW I could control the food that was at the event.
I was stressed and anxious around food.
My hair was falling out and I had developed severe digestive issues.
It felt like everything I had created for myself, everything that had earned me love and respect was hanging on by a thread. That thread being my body and if I added even just one pound, it would snap and everything I had worked so hard for would come crashing down.
It wasn’t until I came across the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch that I was able to see that my relationship to my body and food was disordered. That valuing myself (and others) based on the size of my body and what I put in my mouth was NOT a sustainable way to live and thrive in this world.
It was a long and winding road, but I eventually came to embody the undeniable truth that my body is NOT someTHING to be manipulated and controlled to earn my goodness.
No.
My body is someONE who is inherently good and worthy of love and respect regardless of what she looks like.
It was from this place that I was able to start caring for my body in a loving way, eating intuitively, moving in ways that energize me and resting.
Once my physical, mental and emotional health had restored, I found myself craving spiritual connection again.
It was like this loving acceptance I had towards my body opened up a portal inside of me for deeper connection with the Divine.
Yet I knew that I was not going to go back to the strict, rule based religion of my childhood that taught me to disconnect from the miracle that is my body.
No, I was going to invite my body to lead me deeper into my spirituality.
Because here’s what I’ve learned.
The body and the spirit are NOT two separate entities. They are interconnected, working symbiotically leading us towards our fullest expression.
And when we focus our energies on trying to manipulate, control, shrink and avoid being IN our bodies, that connection wanes and we find ourselves unable to access the wisdom of our inner guidance system.
What I’ve seen for myself and the numerous clients I’ve had the honor of working with is that all of these constructs of beauty, thinness, purity and what makes a “good woman” we are indoctrinated with are REALLY good at getting us to think that we need something outside of ourselves to be valuable, so we keep buying, striving, shrinking and silencing ourselves.
But when we’re able to peel back the layers of that conditioning. Question the constructs that we’ve taken on as true about ourselves and others.
We’re able to access the Truth of who we are. Whole. Complete. Worthy. Enough. Valuable. Just as we are.
And this, my friends, is how we begin to heal and create harmony in the world around us.
More and more people feeling a sense of wholeness in themselves, creates a deeper experience of Oneness with the world around us. And when we’re experiencing Oneness, it’s a lot less likely that we’ll be perpetuating hate and violence (to ourselves or others).
At least this is what I believe and what I’m attempting to work towards here in my little corner of the internet.
So, if any part of my story resonates with you, I’ll invite you to connect with me. Click here to learn more about my private coaching offerings.
Maybe you’re not ready to explore coaching for yourself, but you want to connect with me on the gram - click here to follow me + introduce yourself!
A little bit about me personally:
I currently live in Sunnyside, Queens which is a magical storybook oasis in New York City. I married my wonderful husband, Daniel, in 2014 and we adopted our puppy, Gatsby, in 2018. When I’m not coaching my amazing clients or creating for my business, I’m most likely on an adventure with them, hiking, beaching or exploring new parks for Gatsby to run around in.
My spiritual practice is medicine for me and I’m constantly exploring new ways to connect to the Divine through ritual, embodiment practices and solo time.
I am a self-proclaimed introvert, Enneagram 3, lover of nature, good food, wine, travel, podcasts and writing.